Sunday, July 27, 2008

Dancing in the Rain

Hello, it's me. It's been a long long time. I've been thinking about coming back to blogging. I'm not sure if I'm ready. It's been a hell of a year.
At last blog I was thinking about leaving academics for the biotech world - I did that. It was going well and I was enjoying being out of the current stresses of an underfunded academic situation. Then it seemed like the two loops of my life exploded and I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I've spent the last 9 months mostly being a cancer patient - chemo, surgery, and now radiation. I'm 10 days from being done with it all....but what does that mean. You see I was an academic studying breast cancer for over 17 years! I've met, worked with and been touched by a lot of women that are no longer here because of breast cancer. People say knowledge is power and it is to some extent but too much knowledge, like mine, can be counter productive - at least for me.

So my struggle now is to find a way to get those two loops (Mom and scientist) working in sync again and learning to "live for the moment" while trying not to think too much about the unknown future. That will be the greatest challenge for me specifically. I have a 6 and 4 year old I want to be around for....

I found a saying the other day. I don't know who to contribute it to but it sums up how I feel about my life from here on out.
Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.

If I can make this blog about science, motherhood and sometimes breast cancer, I'll write. Maybe some of you will read..........

3 comments:

working said...

Welcome back! Glad to hear that you made it through the rounds of chemo etc. Please keep us updated.

skookumchick said...

Yay, you're back! I kept your blog in the list in the hopes you would reappear... and now will keep reading. Sounds like a horrendous year, though. Good, hopeful, healthy vibes coming your way..... now!

Beth K. said...

wow. This was an unexpected turn. I have randomly lurked on your blog, living vicariously what my life would have been like if I had stayed in science (ph.d. from an ivy league, I walked with a split-second of thought-- and then a year of grieving-- from a staff scientist position after the wildly traumatic pregnancy of my second child).

All the best in your healing and reintegration of what your life is about. Thank you for sharing your life.